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THEY CALLED US EXCEPTIONAL

Prachi Gupta

How do we understand ourselves when the story about who we are supposed to be is stronger than our sense of self? What do we stand to gain - and lose - by taking control of our narrative? These questions propel Prachi Gupta's heartfelt memoir and can feel particularly fraught for immigrants and their children who live under immense pressure to belong in America.
Prachi Gupta's family embodied the American Dream: a doctor father and a nurturing mother who raised two high-achieving children with one foot in the Indian American community, the other in Pennsylvania's white suburbia. But their belonging was predicated on a powerful myth: that Asian Americans have perfected the alchemy of middle-class life, raising tight-knit, ambitious families that are immune to hardship. Molding oneself to fit this perfect image often comes at a steep but hidden cost. In They Called Us Exceptional, Gupta articulates the dissonance, shame, and isolation of being upheld as an American success story while privately navigating traumas invisible to the outside world.

Gupta addresses her mother throughout the book, weaving a deeply vulnerable personal narrative with history, postcolonial theory, and research on mental health, to show how she slowly made sense of her reality and freed herself emotionally and physically from the pervasive, reductive myth that had once defined her. But, tragically, the act that liberated Gupta was also the act that distanced her from those she loved most. By charting her family's slow unraveling and her determination to break the cycle, Gupta shows how traditional notions of success keep us disconnected from ourselves and one another and passionately argues why we must orient ourselves toward compassion over belonging.

THEY CALLED US EXCEPTIONAL is a book that speak to the universality of the power of self-reflection and realization. The idea that you can be you, once you are strong enough to realize that that is the only thing you have control of.

Prachi Gupta is an award-winning journalist and former senior reporter at Jezebel. She won a Writers Guild Award for her investigative essay "Stories About My Brother." Her work was featured in The Best American Magazine Writing 2021 and has appeared in The Atlantic, The Washington Post Magazine, Marie Claire, Salon, Elle, and elsewhere. Prachi Gupta lives in New York City.
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Book

Published 2023-08-22 by Crown

Book

Published 2023-08-22 by Crown

Comments

"A memoir so honest and intimate, I felt I ought to look away. Gupta blasts through the imprisoning phrase Log kya kahenge'What will people say?'and brings us into her life and her home with awe-inspiring courage, nuance, and intelligence."

"An Indian American daughter reveals how the dangerous model minority myth fractured her family in this "searingly honest memoir that manages to be at once a scalding indictment and a heartfelt love letter"

"What happens when a person discovers that the American Dream is a virus? Gupta's stunning and devastating debut contorts genreexisting as a disquisition on Asian American assimilation into the West, a bird's-eye view of how patriarchy, capitalism, and white supremacy congealed to destroy a family, and a coming-of-age tale about a woman who had to fight to make space for her voice."

In this vulnerable and courageous memoir, Prachi Gupta takes the myth of the exceptional Indian American family to task... [her] resilience and her hope to be fully seen are an inspiration in both personal and political terms.

It's not very often that the word "necessary" in a book review feels, well, necessary. And yet, more than perhaps any other book to come across my desk this year, I want to shout from the mountaintops and the depths of the sea - upward, downward, and everywhere in between - that you must read this book. Gupta has penned one of the most gripping blends of memoir and reporting, writing a book whose page-turning is compelled as much by masterful macro-level storytelling as by memoir.

I read it in one sitting. Wow. It aims right at the tender spot where racism, sexism, and family dynamics collide, and somehow manages to be both searingly honest and deeply compassionate.

"In examining with boundless love the secrets and sorrows of one family, Gupta shows us the life-altering power of telling one's truth."

THEY CALLED US EXCEPTIONAL is named a best new book for summer 2023 by the New York Times, Washington Post, Boston Globe, and Amazon!

Self-directed and accomplished... For readers interested in complicated, thoughtful and beautifully written family stories that explore the cost of the model-minority myth, this book is as good as it gets.

English (India): S&S India

She explains better than any writer I've ever encountered how conflicts that may appear low-stakes - such as an argument over grades or extracurriculars - can tear open an unnavigable gulf. She does this while loving, and grieving, her formerly close family.

THEY CALLED US EXCEPTIONAL is one of Amazon's Best Books of the Year and one of Audible's Best Memoirs of the Year!

This searing debut grabbed me from the first page. I devoured it in less than 24 hours, unable to look away from Gupta's powerful story of belonging and rejection, agony and achievement, and its stunning conclusion.

[Gupta's] startling candor and willingness to confront painful truths make this sing. Readers who've broken free from toxic family dynamics - or are hoping to do so - will want to check it out.

Watch video with Prachi sharing briefly on the book, in the Brown Girl Bookshelf's announcement post Read more...

See Prachi's additional social media announcement post Read more...

A heartfelt memoir of love and dysfunction, an indictment of the premium America places on exterior markers of success, and a careful exploration of the legacies of institutionalized racism, family illness, and constrictive ideals of gender.

"Gupta has penned a gripping memoir that considers immigrant aspirations and tribulations alongside the heavy generational trauma of an immigrant parent leaving behind the known and the loved. With grace and dexterity, Gupta bravely interrogates not only the obvious but also the seething emotional territory that lies just beneath . . . A remarkable book that is both lyrical and brave."