THE PERFECTIONIST'S GUIDE TO LOSING CONTROL

Katherine Schafler was living her dream.  After years of dedication and hard work, her private psychotherapy practice was thriving, her articles were being widely published, and the professional invitations she had always dreamed of receiving began to pour in.  While not without some challenges, Katherine reveled in the balancing act--she never felt more energized or in the zone. Unfortunately, after a sudden medical diagnosis, Katherine was forced to slow down, drop a few of her juggling balls, and focus on one thing- her patients.   

Not unlike Katherine, the women she treated in her New York City practice were generally go-getting women whose lives seemed put together on the outside, but privately, they struggled. With her newly acquired reduced-speed-perspective, Katherine, began to notice, and increasingly admire, the incredible energy, creativity and productivity these women brought into the world.  While her patients were no doubt experiencing symptoms that clinical research suggested stemmed from a “perfectionism” they needed to quell, Katherine began to wonder whether this was indeed the case. 

Pouring over all the literature she could find on the topic, Katherine was surprised to find that none of the research on perfectionism seemed to focus (or even recognize) all of the positive aspects of the condition. Moreover, it tended to lump all perfectionists into a single category, not taking into account the wide variety of personality characteristics, strengths and struggles she saw in her practice.  The more she paid attention, the more she began to suspect that most everything written about the treatment of perfectionism, the conventional wisdom that we needed to temper these tendencies, was wrong.  What the women in her practice needed, what we all needed, was to embrace the instincts to excel and push boundaries as strengths, not beat ourselves up for them. She began to work on helping her patients channel the passionate, hard-driving parts of their personalities and learn to identify and work around the accompanying pitfalls- the results were immediate- she was on the road to helping them live more authentic and fulfilling lives.

In THE PERFECTONIST’S GUIDE TO LOSING CONTROL, Katherine Schafler identifies five types of perfectionists- Classic, Parisian, Messy, Angry, and Procrastinator.  Guiding readers through the simultaneously painful and gratifying process of identifying their specific type(s) and helping them leave behind patterns of self-punishment--readers learn the skills to harness their unique gifts productively. In addition to handy self-assessments and actionable advice tailored to the unique needs of each type of perfectionist, we also learn how to best  partner with other types for the greatest synergy of characteristics.  Readers can even apply these principles to identify their spouse, boss, children, and friends, giving them a leg up in learning how to work together more smoothly and with deeper understanding. When we stop trying to squash our inner-perfectionist, we can finally relax into self-acceptance and curiosity—losing the need to control our natural instincts in order to find more meaningful, authentic power.