THE MUELLER REPORT

The Mueller Report is the full, uproarious, and Totally Fake findings of Robert Mueller's investigation into the election of President Donald J. Trump, leaked to the Very Biased and Highly Unemployed comedy writer Jason O. Gilbert by an anonymous, Deep Throat-esque source known only as "Melania T."

The entire world is waiting to see what former FBI director and current special counsel Robert Mueller has dug up on former mail-order steak salesman and current US president Donald J. Trump. That wait is over - sort of - with the publication of The Mueller Reportby Jason O. Gilbert.

Leaked to Gilbert by an anonymous White House source who goes only by the mysterious code name "Melania T.," The Mueller Report is a hilarious inventory of the dirt, grime, and Big Mac crumbs that the special counsel has collected on President Trump during his months of investigation. Filled with interview transcripts, intercepted phone calls, incriminating emails, text exchanges, ALL-CAPS TRUMP TWEETS WITH SPELING ERRORS, and more, it whisks readers from the leaky White House to an even leakier Ritz-Carlton hotel room in Moscow, from Donald Trump Jr.'s covert meeting with Russians in Trump Tower to Michael Cohen's secret sale of a Trump Tower apartment to a shell corporation called Oligarch LLC.

And, for the first time, you'll find out what really happened in that Moscow Ritz-Carlton hotel room between Donald Trump and two well-hydrated Russian escorts. NOT GOOD!

Unlike the Trump presidency, The Mueller Report is so much fun you won't want it to end. Get your copy now, while books are still legal in America!


Jason O. Gilbert is a humor writer whose work has appeared in the New Yorker, McSweeney's, Esquire, and GQ. He has strong connections within the comedy world, and counts the hosts of Pod Save America, Ronan Farrow, Lauren Duca, Jia Tolentino, and more among his followers and fans.