STOP PEOPLE PLEASING

A practical, empathetic, and inspiring guide to setting aside people-pleasing behaviors that can harm our careers, relationships, physical and psychic health.

For most of Hailey Magee's life, people-pleasing came so naturally to her that she didn't even have a word for it. When somebody wanted something from her - even a stranger - she gave it, no matter how uncomfortable, exhausted, or resentful she felt inside. People-pleasing, she learned, was a coping mechanism that had kept her physically and emotionally safe in the past, but wreaked havoc on her life in the present - and she was committed to breaking the pattern once and for all. The solution that social media and self-help shelves gave her was to "Advocate for yourself! Speak up! Set boundaries!" But after years of ignoring her feelings and needs, Magee needed more than boundaries; she needed to reconnect with the "self" who was supposed to be doing the advocating. You can't express yourself if you're cut off from your feelings. You can't fight for your needs if you don't know what they are. And you can't set boundaries with others until you believe you're worthy of more than the bare minimum. Radically reconnecting with herself gave Magee the confidence and self-respect she needed to stand up for herself in her relationships. As she experienced a freedom she never thought possible, she became a certified life coach with the mission of helping others do the same. Stop People Pleasing explains how anyone can break the pattern by learning their own feelings, needs, values, and desires; ending cycles of enmeshment and codependency; overcoming guilt; developing physical and sexual agency; and more. It is a refreshingly nuanced guide, exploring fundamental questions like: - How can I tell when my genuine kindness veers into people-pleasing? - How can I set boundaries while maintaining my empathy and generosity? - When is it appropriate to compromise on my needs, and when is it not? Combining social science, psychology, and coaching exercises, Stop People Pleasing teaches readers how to connect with their own feelings, needs, and dreams; courageously advocate for themselves in their relationships with friends, family, and colleagues; soothe themselves through the growing pains of healing; and dive headfirst into pleasure and play. With fresh insight, heartfelt empathy, and a keen personal understanding of the pitfalls of people-pleasing, Magee helps readers say what they need and get what they deserve. Hailey Magee is a certified coach, educator, and writer who helps individuals worldwide shatter the self-abandonment cycle, set empowered boundaries, and break the people-pleasing pattern. She has written for Newsweek, The Gottman Institute, and Meduium and has facilitated group coaching sessions in partnership with WeWork, Amazon, Women In Music, and a variety of other companies and organizations. She received her BA from Brandeis University in Massachusetts and currently resides in Seattle, WA.