SAY THIS, NOT THAT : A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication

The Breakthrough Program for Always Saying the Right Thing at the Right Time

Do you ever feel that your words produce the exact opposite effect of what you were hoping for—escalating tensions rather than solving problems? Author of Emotional Bullshit Carl Alasko has found that with the right guidance, anyone can learn effective communication skills. In Say This, Not That, Alasko presents readers with simple instructions for what to say . . . and what not to say. Accompanying each pair of statements is a brief discussion of what makes one so negative and destructive, and the other inviting of the kind of discussion needed. This book is the ultimate resource for anyone who longs to consistently say the right thing at the right time. Both EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT and BEYOND BLAME help readers to deepen their understanding of the dynamics involved in human relationships—with the emphasis on which behaviors actually work in the real world, and which don't. The most complex and demanding behavior within any relationship is talking face-to-face with another person. It's our spoken words that communicate our feelings, ideas and needs. Ultimately, being able to say the right words—and say them effectively—either brings us closer to those we care about, or pushes us away. This, combined with the right body language, facial expression, and tone of voice, can be the difference between a blow out and a productive conversation. It can also be the difference between a happy relationship and one that's doomed to constant struggle. Dr. Alasko's patients frequently express desperation when their attempts at communication make things worse. They'll ask, "What else can I say? How can I get him (or her) to understand?" Their frustration can be so consuming that they ask for a virtual script. And when they use these scripts, they work. This is the idea behind SAY THIS, DON'T SAY THAT: the dialogues offered simplify the decision about what to say in a given situation by focusing on one specific communication problem at a time—and presenting a more positive alternative. Some topics covered include: • Dating • Living Together / Marriage • Friends • Work / Co-Workers and Colleagues • Parenting, from Toddlers to Teens.